Misconceptions
by shinko112
Summary: He watched her play amongst the flowers, weaving them into garlands, and noticed the utter joy that enveloped her. He wondered if everything he'd learned, everything he'd been taught up to this point was wrong. [Oneshot] Alt ending added
1. Chapter 1

A brief look at Sesshoumaru's thoughts on his ward. Personally I don't think Sesshoumaru is as in character as I would like him to be, criticism, suggestions, and comments are welcome.

Misconceptions

I watched her prance among the flowers singing a silly tune occasionally pausing to pick up a small weed, whose blossom managed to catch her eye, and weave it into the garland in her small hands. I've always heard and was always told that ningen took the small gifts nature offered them for granted, walking by them without even sparing a single glance too caught up in their own conceited minds. I watched her run over to Jakken, showing him another blossom and asking him to name it for her, as she always did much to his immense chagrin, Jakken always made his displeasure at caring for a ningen known. I gazed at the simple clothing she wore, a plain orange and white pattern, and inexpensive fabric and remembered hearing that ningens felt themselves too almighty to don such simple clothing and passed the majority of their time displeased with their attire, however, not my young ward. Rin, the name was simple, just as she was simple, not simple minded I noticed early on that the girl was clever, but simple in her way of life an new robe regardless of its make caused her great excitement just as flowers not jewels brought her joy. She wore no shoes, another anomaly, although I knew she was unaccustomed to wear them and never asked for shoes even though I wore boots on my feet, I was always told that ningens felt that their feet were too sensitive to be placed on the hard ground without any type of protection. She was innocent and pure but she also knew the cruelty of the world, her mistreatment early on by the people of her own village demonstrated that she cared nothing about a creature so long as she knew that someone still realized that she existed. She feared ningens that much was evident, she also feared some youkai but she does not fear me, she never did and somehow I know she never will despite everything she has seen me do, despite all the cruel actions I have performed all the pain I have inflicted. She was an infinite paradox, innocently wise, naively sensible, childishly jaded, an interesting juxtaposition of purity and wisdom. However, I also knew how stubborn she was, her foolish voyage in search of the plants that Jakken needed when he was stung by the poisonous insects proved that, even though she knew that she was endangering her own life. I was always told that ningens were so egotistical that they refused to help those in need, refused to help even their closest friends and family if it meant putting themselves at risk, not Rin. She nearly died in her attempt to save Jakken, it was fortunate that I was close by and able to catch her during her plummet to the ground, but she managed to pluck the flowers before she fell, and for that I admit I admired her for a moment. I also noticed that Ah-Un was with her at the time, protecting her from the youkai who inhabited the area, the beasts were fond of her despite her humanity. Perhaps it was her loyalty, he undivided devotion, her integrity. I remember hearing that ningens learned things slowly, that teaching required constant if not excessive repetition and before the lesson was internalized and even then more practice required to truly demonstrate that the lesson was learned. Nevertheless, I instructed Jakken to teach her to read and write, if she was to remain as my ward then she needed to be taught, for I refused to be associated with a simpleton. She learned quickly, even Jakken appeared surprised at her rapid progress and treated her slightly less harshly than before. Another fact that I was taught, disproved like so many others.

I watched her age, four years after her revival, I assumed her to be eleven years of age, I bought her a new robe, of finer material than the previous ones and of a showier design, a lavender affair with a pattern of butterflies, not silk but most certainly not cotton. I also bought her tabi and sandals, not lacquered ones of course, these were simple straw sandals. She thanked me profusely for the gifts and appeared to be pleased, she wore the sandals but struggled to walk in them, so unaccustomed to their weight and the presence between her toes. I expected her to complain, but she never did, I expected her to take the shoes off and resume her previous habit of walking barefoot but again she did not. Soon she walked unhindered in her robes and sandals, the next year I gave her a new robe as well as an under robe, the weight more than she was accustomed to. Once again I expected her to regress into her former habits, after she struggled to walk in the heavy robes but she demonstrated her determination once more and bore the burden without complaint. The following year I gave her a simple wooden comb for her ebony hair as well as the usual gift of a new robe and under robe. The following year, I gave her the usual gift however the tie for her robe was different than the ones before, it was made of heavier material and far longer than the ones before and had to be wound several times around her small waist and tied into a relatively large bow in the back with the ends dangling near the ground. The weight was excessive and she nearly fell backwards the first time she attempted to stand up while wearing it, but managed to keep her balance. I instructed Jakken to teach her proper court protocol, this she learned as easily as writing and reading but her love of running through the fields and picking flowers remained unchanged, even though she was unable to run and skip due to the constricting fabric of her robes and their weight she still managed a brisk walk and always picked flowers. I knew that as each year progressed the closer she was to adulthood, the closer she was to taking a mate and starting her own family, to leaving my care. That same year, her thirteenth year of life, I noticed the change in her scent and recognized the dangers of having her near so many youkai I never left her alone during these times, not the days right before her monthly flux or the days immediately after, her most fertile times. The change of her scent attracted several lesser youkai that I destroyed with relative ease, I did not trust Jakken and Ah-Un to protect her as well as I. I ignored the affects that her scent had on my body, it was a relatively easy task all I needed to do was remind myself that she was a ningen (a young ningen) and she was my ward.

More years passed, my young ward was now a woman eligible to mate and bear children, and she was beautiful, not the ethereal beauty that a youkai possessed but as close to it as humanly possible. I did not chose her mate, I refused to chose one for her knowing that no mere ningen deserved her, no instead I allowed her to chose her mate, and chose she did and I suppose that I ought to have realized her choice long before she made it, or had some inkling of it. She chose a simple man, one who I would have never considered, in a simple village as her husband and I allowed her to marry him ignoring the sense of loss and sorrow that filled me as I watched her leave my life forever; she left to live a simple life, for she was a simple ningen with simple desires. I knew that the moment I saw her eyes light up in joy while weaving garlands of flowers, all the lessons and gifts were for naught they did not truly make her happy she only acquiesced to please me. Ningens are not simple, they are tenacious and love luxury –thrive on it and nothing less will please them, a lesson forever ingrained in my mind but thoroughly disproved by a barefoot beaten up young ningen in tattered robes who was missing several teeth.


	2. Alternate Ending

Whiel I was working my hospital shift on Christmas Eve, I was introducing the person I work with to Inuyasha. And I was telling er about my writing, summerizing my stories and asking her for suggestions for later chapters of Understanding (Wash it All Away). When I told her About misconceptions she glared at me and said that I'd converted her, I asked her to waht and she told me that now she supported the Rin/Sesshoumaru pairing because of me and that I needed to make a happy ending for it where the two get together. I was confused, how in the world did she got a romantic sentiment out of the original story I don't know. Probably lots of reading between the lines and her own imagination. But she convinced me to write a second part. So here it is the alternate ending. However, I flat out refused to do a continuance for Flor Sin Retoño, and I still refuse even though she's stil trying to persuade me.

Alternate Ending

Weeks have passed since she left me and I find the discomfort of her absence as fresh as the first day she was gone. I grew accustomed to her during the time she traveled with me, a disastrous flaw on my part; I ought to have left her in the first ningen village I came across. Jaken is silent behind me; I feel that he also misses her for he talks considerably less than before even Ah-Un is less agreeable than before. They both miss her and I know that they are angry with me for leaving her, Jaken especially because he confided in me several days before her wedding that he did not trust her chosen mate. I ignored him, I believed that he was merely attempting to convince me not to permit her to leave and begin her own family. I deftly ignored his caveat. However, the memory persists and does not let me be and I wonder about her happiness, wonder if she is safe among her own kind.

I walk down the familiar woods, and curse my weakness, weeks have passed and I still have not left this area, her village lies beyond these accursed woods. Far enough away that I can not detect her scent despite the direction of the wind but close enough that I can travel to her village without much loss of time. I've been walking in circles since she left, not accustomed to leaving her behind and knowing that I'll never return for her, she's no longer waiting for me. Jaken says nothing about our chosen route, though he is well aware that we are traversing in circles in these woods. He too knows the feeling of loss that has overcome our group. I resolve to turn back and leave such an ignoble place, but feel that I can not doubt preys upon my mind as I recall each word Jaken spoke that moonlit night. I have not seen her since the day she physically left my care and protection, perhaps it is time I see how she is doing. I refuse to make myself known to her, but from the cover provided by the woods I will be able to see her without her seeing me thus easing both my traitorous thoughts and Jaken's fears.

I turn once more, my destination becomes more apparent to Jaken with each step I take, his pace becomes more rapid as Ah-Un trails behind him, no longer fighting against the reins. The closer I get to the village the more my senses scream that something is not right, and then I smell it-blood, salt and fear. Fear for personal wellbeing, salt from tears, and ningen blood. Not the blood of an entire village, no slaughter occurred, but the blood of a single person-blood engraved into my very being and all my senses. Her blood. Anger coursed through my veins at the stench, how dare they injure what was mine. How dare they take advantage of a gift that they did not deserve, how dare they mock my generosity when I allowed her to live there. I reach the village and smell their fear as they recognize me, the desperation filling their eyes they fall to the ground in supplication it only serves to enrage me further, that they should beg for forgiveness after hurting her. However, the scent of blood, of tears, and fear increases and I turn away from the loathsome villagers, I shall deal with them later for she takes precedent over everything else.

Her home was not luxurious, a hovel compared to what she deserved, what her relationship to me entitled. I tore the door down it was in my way from protecting what I most cherished, what I learned to care for, what earned my empathy. The sight before me was enough to drive me over the edge, my Rin cowering before the drunken form of her mate bruises over her body and face, lip bleeding, cuts marring her once smooth skin. Both stared at me in surprise as I entered his arm still in the air poised to deliver another blow to her fragile frame. In the next instant his body aid on the floor of the home, blood pooling beneath him, his throat ripped out. I turn to look at her, but she does not look at me. Does she blame me for what befell her? Guilt fills me, I brought this upon her, she was my ward, and it was my duty to find a suitable mate for her if I had fulfilled my obligations she would not be in such a grievous situation. I lift her into my arms, thankful once more for the no longer having just one arm, and take her away from the blood. She still refuses to acknowledge my presence, lying stiff in my arms and not looking me in the face. I lead her away from the village, to where Jaken is waiting with Ah-Un, and gently set her onto the dragon's saddle. Jaken is shocked to see the state that she is in but says nothing. The matter of the villagers still remains, they did not protect her fort hat they needed to be punished, severely punished.

"Jaken, I leave them to you."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama."

I leave him there, he would find me after he was done with his task and I need to distance both her and myself from the village. After some time passed I notice the renewed scent of tears and stop walking, Ah-Un follows suite, I walk closer to her and I notice that her body is shaking with silent sobs. I reach out one hand and lift her head, forcing her to face me. With the other I wipe the tears away.

"Sumimasen," she whispers.

What did she need to apologize for, I was the one who failed her. I let go of her and her head turns away once more.

"Sumimasen, Sesshoumaru-sama. I have done nothing but bring you trouble, since the day you resurrected me, and if you wish to take back the life you gave me all those years ago I have not power or right to stop you."

I now understand that she felt ashamed of what occurred, ashamed of her mistake in judgement.

"Iie, I have no intention of killing you Rin. The mistake in judgement was my own error, it was my duty to find you a suitable mate, and I did not. Thus I am the only one to blame."

I turn away and continue walking, she needs time to heal, and even more time to accept that no fault resides with her only with myself. It appears that for once Jaken's warnings were right.

_"Sesshoumaru-sama, I do not trust that man. I have heard rumors about him, terrible rumors regarding his cruelty. They say that his behavior towards young Rin is just an act and that he is really a drunken brute that abuses young women. Surely you can not leave Rin to such a despicable ningen."_

"Chichiue!" an exited voice cried out as he ran to meet his Father who was returning from a visit to the Northern Wolf Demon clan. He reached his Father and jumped into his arms, a large smile on his small face.

Sesshoumaru allowed a small smile to grace his lips as he stared at his son, his gaze lingering only momentarily on the small pointed ears protruding from the top of his head, ears covered in soft silver fur matching his silver hair.

"Kenji-chan," a soft feminine voice laughed, "you shouldn't pounce on your Chichiue like that."

Sesshoumaru looked at his mate and companion of many years and walked towards her, their son in his arms, and said in response to her playful admonishment, "You're just saying that because he's unable to pounce on you given your condition." He placed one hand on her swollen stomach and she sniffed haughtily in reply, lips twitching as she attempted to suppress a smile.

"Welcome home, anata."

"I am glad to be back, Rin."


End file.
